We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
