we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So much Jack, so little girl.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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