ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
