Umm I'm too high to move.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
