yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
