She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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