Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
