It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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