Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
