u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
