i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
