508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
