Small penises have feelings too.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
