Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
