Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
