And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
