May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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