I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
