problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
