hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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