I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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