The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
