I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
