I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
