WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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