Do vagina's smell?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
