just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's paint friendship bongs
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
