If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
