I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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