Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
