i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
