I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
