I accidentally burped into my bong.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
