I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
