I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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