Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
