mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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