Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How naked do you want me to be?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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