why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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