her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
