I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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