You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Four minutes until I can fart!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
