I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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