Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
