that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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