He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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