You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
