whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
