Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
