Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
