I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
