i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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