He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
