thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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