So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So here I am, sexting at work.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
